I have been asking myself one question lately. What are the many pleasures of having kids?
Foolish people tend to focus on the negative even when everything is going well. Others are mostly positive… well, at least when things are going well! But unfortunately most of us tend to focus on the difficulties, the sadness, the wrongs that have been done to us.
When you expect your first child, you get excited, you almost cannot wait for that precious day when you’ll hold that new life in your arms. You know the difficulties that will come with this new born and despite of this you focus on the positive and get extreme joy out of these thoughts.
Couple kids later, you’re in your kitchen trying to accomplish many small tasks that seemed so easily and quickly done in the past. Your kids are crying and they’re not the only ones. You feel overwhelmed and alone. You think of all that you have to do, everything seems so big. Stop right there, shake your body, move around and then continue reading.
Focus on what’s going right?
I have two kids (2 and 5), I won’t try to argue that raising kids is easy but you can choose where your focus goes. Here are my answers to what are the many pleasures of having kids? I hope this helps you refocus your parenting.
Testify to the miracle of life. Take a moment to remember when each of your child was born. First you might want to see them in your arm as you’re holding them for the first time, you may also enjoy the cute little noises they were making and feel free to experience any sensations and feelings that come with these memories. That miracle of life continues as they grow and learn.
Watch them grow. Become a observer and teacher. Take time to discover how amazing and unique are your kids. Study their behaviour and amaze yourself to see how smart and creative they can be. Teach them stuff you know or learn with them new subjects you find interesting. Remember that good teachers manage instead of disciplining, they communicate and direct instead of ordering and they participate in the learnings.
Live, laugh, love. We can’t discover the pleasure of having kids if we never spend time with them. Live along side your children. Get interested in what they are doing. Play with them and for the older ones: play with them! How? You say, keep in mind that playing can mean different things. Don’t take life too seriously. That is something I need work on. Learn to be more flexible, more creative and how to let your kids be more creative too. Above all love them, show them love. Show them how to give love and how to receive love.
Build a legacy. It’s true that your child will grow to be his or her own person. Nevertheless your child is your legacy. Not only she has your eyes or the same voice tonality as you but she has learnt much from you and continues to do so. She will too pass on these wonderful traits, skills and quirkiness to your future generations.
Keep this in mind when you go about your day interacting with your kids. It’s amazing how changing your frame of mind can change your mood, your behaviours and the world around you.